Given the state of the world, I’m not sure that my series made a difference in anyone’s life. I was overambitious as usual and overly inspired to use my interviewing skills to share stories of our friends and neighbors during the global lockdown. So, with a heavy heart, I’m concluding the series.
However, thank you to the fabulous friends and colleagues who shared their shelter-in-place experiences in this series. Thank you to those of you who read the stories presented here. I’m going to conclude the series with my reflection of the previous months where I went from feeling terrified to feeling hopeful to feeling despair with a tinge of hope. And I write these words on the day of the Sagittarius Lunar Eclipse which ironically represents freedom. I don’t even know what my rights and freedoms are at this point. I certainly don’t have the freedom to earn an income, to move to a new home, or to even start a new life. I don’t even have the freedom to commute to another city to check on my belongings in storage.
Chopin’s piano pieces play in the background as I piece together the most surreal time in anyone’s life. While I did not catch the virus or suffer the worst of the lockdown experiences, I have been stranded in a city where I live with my elderly parents. I don’t have a car so I either spent time on my computer thinking up new projects, meditated or took walks around the neighborhood which represents an architectural hodgepodge of charmless ramblers and cookie-cutter houses. This city lacks any forested trails, the bus service is so limited that it basically sucks and you aren’t permitted to ride the buses for non-essential trips anyway. And as far as peace or quiet, I’ve suffered the trauma of Navy Growlers flying regular runs over our neighborhood–sometimes as low as 300 feet above our rooftops.
So, I enrolled in Reiki and animal communication skills online. I planted marigold seeds to see how tall the plants would grow before the lockdown ended. The closest proximity I have had to my friends is via Facebook messenger, email, or Zoom. I had the pleasure of interviewing fascinating people for my blog, but that’s hardly the same as publishing articles in magazines and receiving a paycheck. In fact, the only work I’ve had during this time was one astrology client who came to me for reading (and yes, I’m grateful for her).
My moods have swung across the board. I have experienced meltdowns and especially now that the planet has erupted in unrest even though I know ultimately, this was coming for a long while. So, I’ve practiced self-care, retreated, and communicated with people’s animals while I dream about starting my next business as an animal communicator and Reiki Master. At least something positive has come from my experiences. And I do look at the bright side when I pinch myself to remember that like the song said, “I never promised you a rose garden…along with the sunshine, there needs to be a little rain sometime.”
While the people I interviewed inspired me and I hope they inspired you, my current life would bore you to tears. In fact, the most exciting event that happened to me during the past three months is that I finally was able to get my hair cut. Yes, I had to wear a mask the entire time, and yes, I had to wait on the sidewalk with all the other people waiting for a haircut which reminded me of the times I waited in line outside of nightclubs to see a band. My mind drifts back in time and I wish that I had not ever taken anything for granted. I used to complain about things that seem so banal now and I would rather return to those times and give thanks for every little thing…in hopes that I would never endure a pandemic, a lockdown, and global unrest, even if it’s for a good cause.
There are so many things I wish for at the moment, such as a ride to Port Townsend to check on my storage, to wear my summer clothing, to see if my belongings are safe, to shop at a food coop, to visit a farmers market and run into a friend. I miss sitting on the Jefferson County buses and talking to the same people each week. I stop by a salad bar for lunch and I miss not wearing a mask covering half my face every time I go to a public place. And what I would give for a cup of tea at Better Living Through Coffee or a ride on the Port Townsend ferry, yes, even a rough and rocky ride (well, I should be careful what I wish for).
What I’ll never miss are the following words and phrases:
Coronavirus or COVID19
Lockdown or Shelter-in-place, or quarantine
The New Normal
“Due to the COVID19 breakout…”
“Check the latest report of the CDC”
I also, don’t need to hear the death count stats or the bone-chilling phrase, “Breaking news…”
And now, with the new big media story, I’m sure I’ll be inundated with new phrases cooked up by clever interns working for the major news networks.
I remember the words to John Lennon’s “Imagine” and I agree with him one-hundred percent. It hurts for me to see the police and National Guard harming peaceful protestors. It hurts to hear of so many deaths caused by a silent roaming virus that spread could have been curbed as far back as December had the world leaders not been so corrupt and arrogant. The suffering, the loss of jobs, and now this unrest could have been avoided if only people had chosen to wake up decades ago and elect compassionate leaders who had their best interest at heart. (Dang it, why weren’t you attending all those spiritual workshops and learning how to create peace in the world?)
Even though US cities now resemble the sets of Dystopian movies and people are fighting because they have nothing left to lose or nothing left to pacify their anger, this could just be the turning of a new dawn. I just hope that all the suffering and deaths won’t have occurred in vain. And from the rubble and ashes of our lives, we will rise again, stronger, and more powerful than in previous times.
Other than that, I have nothing of interest to offer you, no words of hope, no animals (since I don’t have any pets at the moment), and the only music I have to offer you is the humming in my heart. Just like you, hope and dream of better times.