I sat on a back porch at 11:30 p.m. wondering if I would have a warm place to sleep that night. I gazed at the nearly Full Moon and though this moon was somewhat calming, I endured punishing thoughts, worries and doubts. I took a leap of faith, I thought I made the right decision, and yet, I was on the verge of another meltdown sitting on a stranger’s porch and giving all my power away.
And what I’ve learned through my arduous home search is that I always have a choice of where to place my focus. Focus on homelessness and my fear of it, and I just encounter synchronicity in that regard. Focus on abundance and my dream home, and I witness people living my dream life. Spiritualists tell me that I can manifest anything I desire and I stopped searching for proof. I decided that I would take these words to heart and instead of experiencing another meltdown, I would melt my fears like Dorothy melted the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz. After all, aren’t my fears just illusions anyway?
I’m not negating that people experience homelessness because I’m seeing the signs of it all around me. I don’t have any big solutions to solve a problem that has been with us since ancient times. However, as societies, none of us can claim true freedom until everyone on the planet has a roof over his or her head. I have seen too many spiritual people rationalize social problems as if that heals anyone. We have a responsibility here to lift the vibration on the planet and to send out healing to whoever claims it. And it doesn’t hurt to share a kind word of support to someone who we normally cast off as invisible. We don’t know how people got to where they are now? Yet we think we do so we judge them.
What if we acknowledge the resourcefulness and survival skills of people on the street and in shelters then found jobs that use those skills? What if we tried walking in their shoes for just one day or night like Billy Bragg and a journalist from the English music paper Melody Maker did in 1991? So many times social workers mean well but they haven’t a clue how to solve problems that they’ve never encountered themselves. This is why former drug addicts are the best healers for recovering addicts (they know first hand). And sadly, where I live there’s not much of a safety net (if at all) to protect people from becoming homeless. Many people in Bellingham live on minimum wage and pay steep rent, meaning if they lost their jobs tomorrow, they would literally be on the street. And none of us have the survival skills for that type of life.
None of us are perfect. We all have meltdowns no matter how high along the spiritual path we think we’ve climbed. I believe it is spiritual arrogance to think that we will only manifest large houses and fancy cars with soul mates popping in the window everyday. While I understand that lifting our vibration is crucial for ascension, so are compassion and forgiveness. Sometimes we have to gaze at horrid images that cause our knees to tremble and our hearts to break. How else can we help our brothers and sisters? We are all One here and that includes every human and non-human experience on the planet. I like avoiding drama and harsh situations too, but my recent experiences have deepened my understanding and compassion. I haven’t been able to look away and each night as I wonder where I’ll sleep the next night, I feel terrified and yet, hopeful that someone will step forward and offer me the home of my dreams.
Yes, I took that leap of faith. At the moment that leap looks foolish the world, I’m sure of it. In the Tarot deck we start with The Fool and eventually we grow wiser through The Magician, The High Priestess and The Pope and more worldly through the Empress, Emperor, Chariot and Wheel of Fortune, etc…We don’t get anywhere in life without answering the call to a quest. The quest could involve ending a marriage that looks great on the surface or leaving a secure home for the unknown. None of us really knows where we’re going, but all of us have the choice between grace and self-pity. We’re all going to experience meltdowns and wicked depression along the way as well as, victory and respite.
I’m an intuitive coach for creatives and an astrologer practicing in Bellingham, Washington. Sign up for a reading at Metaphysics for Everyday Living.