It’s hard to imagine not knowing where I’ll be placing my head to sleep on September 2nd and beyond. As you know if you read my earlier post, I took a leap of faith two weeks ago and gave up an apartment which felt unhealthy to me. Now, I sit in a decent hotel room, listening to reiki music and typing this post. I have planted the seeds and now I wait to see what germinates, sprouts and grows.
I feel challenged with this leap of faith because in the past I lacked trust in anyone or any situation. I micro-managed every moment of my day, knowing exactly where I would be that night and the next night. As I’m going through my spiritual quest, (what else can I call it), I am gaining insights, wisdom and yes, faith. This situation helped me to develop mindfulness because I only have this moment. If I think too far ahead in the future, I panic. When I experience each moment like another step on a path, I don’t take anything for granted. I actually feel and sense more deeply now, sometimes floating above others with deep empathy.
What I require the most now is for someone else, preferably another Light worker to take a leap of faith and rent me a space in his or her home. And when I use the word home, I don’t use it lightly. I’m not looking for one of those shared houses where everyone does his or her own thing and waxes on about their egotistical selves. Done with that. I’m not looking for self-important people who expect everyone else to cater to their dreams (met a few on Craig’s List). I’m not looking to live in a small house with a menagerie of animals. I love animals, just don’t want to share a space with them at this time, at least not more than one. I challenge any Light Workers in Bellingham to offer me a home now, just like that because their hearts feel the impulse.
And I know I have run into those Light Workers. They want to offer me a home, but then their rational mind kicks in and they come up with excuses and platitudes. I don’t take this personally because they are working through their own wounds and fears. But wouldn’t it be nice if more people actually walked their talk? It’s ironic that I live in one of the friendliest and sustainable communities in the US and I have yet to find a room in a shared spiritual/sustainable household. I saw one ad on Craig’s List that fit the bill. I e-mailed the ad three times and received no response. Perhaps there’s something better for me around the corner.
So since my post is about letting go and ascension, part of my process dealt with letting go of furniture, old files, old projects that never amounted to anything, old identities, fears, doubts, limitations and judgements of others who seem more fortunate than me. In fact, that has been the biggest shift of all. I found that I can finally embrace other people’s wealth as my own. We are all ONE after all, both the pauper and the billionaire. We are success and failure. We are everything. And finally I have embodied this lesson so I’m not just waxing words.
As I let go of all this stuff, I grow lighter as in light filling up my body and radiating outward. I have found my Soul Tribe on YouTube and they are reiki healers, musicians, energy healers, and spiritual teachers who have kept me uplifted through this challenging time. I love these folks and all that they share. Some of their healing and teaching gifts amaze me and my heart fills up with gratitude for those gifts. With these folks my meltdowns could have turned into nervous breakdowns. They help me to let go. And if you want any recommendations, drop me a line.
I’m more than happy to share my process with you. I’d like to say that it’s unique, but looking around, I can tell you many people are floating in the same boat. I think of Liz Gilbert putting all her belongings in storage and traveling to Italy, India and Indonesia. Wish I could travel or meet people from far away places at least. I think of Saint Francis stripping himself bare and walking away from everything he had known because a greater power called to him. His conscience bothered him and he was no hypocrite. I think of Jesus telling his disciples to leave their homes and families for a greater experience that would take them closer to their core or purpose. And of course I think of Joseph Campbell’s analogies of the hero’s quest.
The biggest lesson of all and a weight I lifted from my chest is that the enemy is never outside of us. Our true enemy is our negative thoughts/beliefs. All the people I hung in front of me as enemies are actually friends because they lead me to the core of myself and I have experienced major growth from those thorns in my side. Forgiveness is the most fundamental act of letting go. And once we forgive our lives finally move forward.
I am an astrologer and intuitive coach in Bellingham, Washington. I am taking clients at this time through e-mail. You can make a donation of $20 or more through my Whole Astrology blog and in exchange I gift you with short readings. Also visit Metaphysics for Everyday Living and my free photo therapy site. If you feel the desire or impulse to support my leap of faith, you will receive a blessing, not from me, but my Spiritual Team.