Intuitive Coaching 101–Cruelty Not Permitted in Club-Me

photo by Patricia Herlevi

photo by Patricia Herlevi

We know we’re well on our way to self-love when we bounce people out of our lives or don’t allow them into Club Me in the first place.

In the past, I felt guilty saying no to people’s behavior towards me.  My mind would convince me that those people’s criticism or hurtful behaviors were something I deserved.  I labeled those situations as learning experiences and bucked up to them.  I would even believe the criticism and torment myself.  But that was then and this is now.  Good bye mean and nasty people.  Out!

Yesterday, someone left a scathing comment on my Whole Astrology blog because he or she didn’t like the description of an Aries Sun born in 1969 with the planets in a yod configuration.  My description was that this particular Aries Sun (the ones born with the yod) had some deep wounding that caused them to act aggressive towards others and might even have a problem with ego.  Well, I deleted the scathing comment and reported it as spam because in a sense, that’s what it was, just a nasty projection of someone else’ junk in my personal space.  I don’t feel guilt because the concept of playing the role of bouncer for Club Me seems right to me.

Actually, the thought at the time was that I’ll act as my body guard and protect my physical, emotional, mental and psychic space. I also don’t feel bad because I’m casting someone’s shadow back at them so that he or she heals from their wounds.  That’s not my job to heal their wounds nor is it my job to carry their burdens or mirror back their self-loathing.  You won’t find me leaving nasty comments on people’s blogs or social media updates, so I’m not going to accept this behavior from other people.

Now, why am I sharing this with you? This past week’s astrological transits promoted healing of shadows and projections.  In fact, the dividing line between other people’s stuff and our own was transparent.  A lot of scapegoating and shaming went on with people who refuse to heal their wounds and so they project those wounds on to other people.  Now, if this happened to you (and there’s a good chance it did), then refuse to accept that behavior from other people.  Pray for them if you have the strength and walk away from them. Don’t engage in an argument and don’t take their criticisms personally, because they’re actually criticizing themselves and not you.

If you find truth in their remarks, then own whatever is true for you and heal it.  But don’t punish yourself, feel guilty for walking away or not permitting these folks into your space.  You have rights and you have the right to protect your rights to peace and happiness.  The other part of this, as you discover self-love and experience more joy in your life, wounded people will do everything in their power to squelch your happiness.  Don’t allow that.  Act as your body guard or pretend that you’re an exclusive club where only people who honor themselves and others are permitted. Then act like a bouncer, and kick those nasty ones out.  Life’s too short to take criticism and cruelty from others.  And it’s their job to heal themselves.

Welcome to Club Me where the living is good and easy.

I’m an astrologer and intuitive coach in Washington State who gives in-person and long-distance readings via e-mail.  Require some assistance on your path to self-love? Sign up for a session at