Have you ever heard words come out of your mouth that belong to a friend or colleague? Have you ever found yourself adopting someone else’ mannerism and gestures, either someone close to you or a celebrity? This is how we resonate with others and the person with the weaker frequency or vibration adopts the mannerisms of the dominant person with stronger frequencies, though not always positive frequencies.
Face it, we humans want to fit into our tribe, whether that’s our family of origin or family of our making. We want to be noticed, validated and recognized, but along the way, we lose our authentic selves when we squeeze into the proverbial shoe that is too small for our foot. We see a job ad and perhaps we don’t actually want the job, but we talk ourselves into it because it’s what would please others. Or we date someone who isn’t even close to our ideal because we would rather be part of a couple to fit in with other couples than work on finding a more suited partner because that could take a while, could take years.
So amidst all of our needs to fit in, say the right thing, get hip etc… how do we find our real selves that we have buried deep inside us? Well, first, we need to slow down and take stock of our life direction. Do we like where we are heading? Do we get up every morning with a resounding “yes” or feel like we are just plugging away at someone else’ dream for us? When people gaze into our eyes do they see us or themselves gazing back at them?
When we are small children, we imitate our parents, take on their beliefs and patterns (unconsciously and consciously) and this is how we learn to operate in the world. Then we head over to school where teachers instill their beliefs in us, and then there is peer pressure to deal with because we all want to fit in and do what that requires. Been there, done that. And when we reach our 20s we find ourselves influenced by our peers, our teachers and parents to a lesser extent and the media, not to mention the fashion and tech industries. And some of you are shaking your heads right now saying that’s not the case with you, but look how well you adapt to the latest social media craze. And you don’t feel that force pulling you by the nose?
We can live in the world, but not be of it. We can find out who we are and live a life based on our true selves, but this does take some effort on our part. First of all, we need quiet time for ourselves so we can hear our inner voice. This is accomplished through meditation, walks alone and without any devices plugged into our ears and without the cell phone, or through a yoga practice or anything that allows us to experience peace around us and in our hearts. We need to explore our own agenda and life path.
So often people ask the question, “Why am I here and what’ s my purpose?” and then they go on their busy way without waiting for the response to their question! When many people call into spiritual radio shows they balk when the radio host mentions adding meditation to their daily routine. “I don’t have time for that. I have to take care of this and that, and my job keeps me busy,” they argue. When the spiritual radio host mention meditation, they’re not asking us to sit down for an hour every day and quiet our minds completely. That’s not even possible in our hyped up western world.
We all need quiet time to check in with our minds, our bodies and our souls, not to mention our spirits. If we don’t take this time out, our stress levels increase and time just races past us, leaving us breathless and frustrated. But checking in with ourselves through writing in a journal each morning or evening, spending five to ten minutes in relaxation or taking a quiet walk in a park connects us to our inner source. And the more we engage in these practices the more enriched we feel as we get to know our authentic selves. And once we reach that point, miracles happen. We quit jobs that don’t serve us to make room for rightful employment that blesses us. We end relationships that don’t honor us and find ones that do. We speak our truth because we’re pretty sure we know what our truth is and we live from the inside out with the media, technology and fashion no longer having sway over us. It’s just there for us to use or not use. This type of liberation I’m sure is part of enlightenment.
It’s never too late to start over again. It’s never too late to live a fulfilling and joyful life. I battled with depression and cynicism for most of my life. I never took medication for it, but I did seek therapy. But the best thing I ever did for myself was to tune out the world for a while and discover the real me buried deep in my heart. It’s the best thing I ever did for myself and despite what my outer circumstances might look like to others, I can actually say that I feel authentically happy and I love myself. I wish the same for everyone. I can tell you one thing there would be less oppression and misery in the world the day we all learn to walk this path of authenticity.
After typing this post, I found this video on YouTube which I think adds some missing pieces. Healing our wounds helps us to find authenticity.